The Need for Validation

This is why I like Clint Eastwood:

Remember that little guy I told you about, with the shiny boots and a pair of six-shooters? The best part of the story is that it wasn't all pretend. I had a place to live out those dreams. My grandfather, my father's father, was a cowboy. He worked his own cattle ranch in eastern Oregon. And though I was raised in the suburbs, the redemption of my life and the real training grounds for my own masculine journey took place on that ranch, where I spent my boyhood summers. Oh, that every boy should be so lucky. To have your days filled with tractors and pickup trucks, horses and roping steers, fishing in the ponds. I was Huck Finn for three wonderful months every year. How I loved it when my grandfather-"Pop" is what I called him-would look at me, his thumbs tucked in his belt, smile, and say, "Saddle up." 

One afternoon Pop took me into town, to my favorite store. It was a combination feed and tack/hardware/ranch supply shop. It smelled of hay and linseed oil, of leather and gunpowder and kerosene-all the things that thrill a boy's heart. That summer Pop was having a problem with an overrun pigeon population on the ranch. He hated the dirty birds, feared they were carrying diseases to the cattle. "Flying rats" is what he called them. Pop walked straight over to the firearms counter, picked out a BB rifle and a quart-sized milk carton with about a million BBs in it, and handed them to me. The old shopkeeper looked a bit surprised as he stared down at me, squinting over his glasses. "Isn't he a bit young for that?" Pop put his hand on my shoulder and smiled. "This is my grandson, Hal. He's riding shotgun for me." 

I may have walked into that feed store a squirrelly little kid, but I walked out as Sheriff Wyatt Earp. I had an identity and a place in the story. I was invited to be dangerous. If a boy is to become a man, if a man is to know he is one, this is not an option. A man has to know where he comes from, and what he's made of. (Wild at Heart, 20-21)

My Dislike of Pride and Prejudice is neither Proud nor Prejudiced

No, I haven't read the book. But having watched the movie on more than one occasion has solidified my notion that this is one of the most boring stories. Perhaps ever. And as the post title suggests, I am not motivated by ignorant, masculine resistance to all things feminine (I like the Twilight movies); rather, I just don't get it.

What is the story about? I don't even know. Perhaps the meaning is obscured by the quick tempo British accents throughout the movie or maybe I'm just not wired to understand. It's hard enough for me to understand relationship stuff in Southern English (my native tongue)...much less in British.

I love Donald Miller's assessment of the book. He said one of his girlfriends told him that he should read this book if he wanted to understand a girl's heart. He read the book and concluded that a girl's heart is incredibly boring.

Where are the ninjas? Where are the lightsabers? Where are the dwarves with axes and elves with bows and arrows? Where are the cowboys and pistols? What about a damsel in distress? (Wild at Heart is coming to mind...).

Sigh. Maybe it will make sense this time. My wife and I turn choosing a movie into a game--I pick out several DVDs based on genre one of us suggests. Earlier, my wife suggested a "You've Got Mail-like" movie, so I picked out Ever After, An Affair to Remember, You've Got Mail (this DVD is almost wore out at our house;), Juno, First Knight, and reluctantly, Pride and Prejudice. Before you assume I'm a glutton for punishment, remember that the next step in this game involves each of us eliminating a movie until there is only one left. Jessica eliminated Juno. I eliminated Ever After (mainly because it was a VHS which is horrible quality on our flat screen) and went ahead and eliminated Pride and Prejudice while I was at it. In the end we watched You've Got Mail...and now we're watching Pride and Prejudice. 

So while the characters do some kind of British square dance and Kiera Knightley's character (I don't even know her name) spars with Mr. Darcy, I type this snide post in silent (?) protest. Maybe the next movie we watch will be X-Men or Superman Returns.

I can't wait for Netflix to send "For a Few Dollars More." I'll need some Eastwood after this night;-).

How I Roll

Boo ya. I think that says it all: fearless, courageous, alpha-male, JACKHAMMER. Mr. Mirage (mur-ah-gee...my car) and I don't take "no" for an answer while we're keepin' it real and stickin' it to the man.

Take THAT Chuck Norris.

Lovely Bones and Beating up Bad Guys

Don't you ever want to beat up the bad guy? Or at least hinder the bad guy. Who hasn't silently urged a character not to go into the villain's house or not to get into the car or run faster?  "Get away from him! Run and don't look back!!" Better yet, have you ever wanted to punish the villain yourself?

Sometimes I imagine stories ending differently. I like to replay scenes in my mind, changing the plot at pivotal moments. For example, in the scene in The Lovely Bones where the "neighborly" serial killer lures Suzie Salmon into his underground lair, I imagine someone (myself, actually) driving up, blowing the horn, making a bunch of noise, getting out, and interrupting the murder, sending little Suzie home running scared. I say something like, "I know who you are. I know what you are." My hand is holding a handgun (am I a cop in the fantasy?) and I don't take my eyes off of him. Somehow I bind him and call the cops, never taking my eyes off of him. Maybe I even beat the guy to a pulp while I wait.

I don't know why I picture it like this. It is silly for obvious reasons (it assumes I would even be able to stop the bad guy without having myself and the other killed), but why do I think this? Perhaps it is my sense of "manliness." That is, I should be able to control things, to keep bad things from happening or to make things right (like Suzie's dad), not wanting to feel weak, unable, incompetent, or whatever. I've never been in a fight, so maybe this is an outlet for frustration and past resentment. Perhaps it is a sense of justice, though the feelings and imagined actions are far from "Christian virtues." More likely, it is my sense of justice. "This is how I think it should happen. This is how I think the villain should be punished."


The problem is this: we just don't have that kind of control. Satan wants us to think we do have control, however. Thus, we dwell on the past, dreaming on "what might have been." Instead, we should try to accept the current situation, acknowledging our inability to change the past, and realize that we can only change our attitude and response. But this is easier said than done.

Last year my dad cut down a tree at my grandfather's house. The tree fell, somehow rolling back toward him, but when he tried to step back or aside he tripped, fell, and the tree rolled on top of him, the pressure of which cut off his breathing. My grandfather was there. He's about 80 and tried to get the tree off but couldn't, finally having to yell for help. The ambulance didn't get there in time.

Sometimes, though, I imagine what would've happened had I been there. I picture myself suggesting that Dad cut the tree at a different spot, causing the tree to fall in a different direction. Or I see myself pushing him out of the way when the tree starts to roll. Or I see myself receiving some unnatural strength and rolling the tree off him. Such thoughts do no good but only serve to fabricate a false reality that merely distracts from living.

Listen to little Stoic wisdom:

Some things are in our control and others not. Things in our control are opinion, pursuit, desire, aversion, and, in a word, whatever are our own actions. Things not in our control are body, property, reputation, command, and, in one word, whatever are not our own actions. 

The things in our control are by nature free, unrestrained, unhindered; but those not in our control are weak, slavish, restrained, belonging to others. Remember, then, that if you suppose that things which are slavish by nature are also free, and that what belongs to others is your own, then you will be hindered. You will lament, you will be disturbed, and you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you suppose that only to be your own which is your own, and what belongs to others such as it really is, then no one will ever compel you or restrain you. Further, you will find fault with no one or accuse no one. You will do nothing against your will. No one will hurt you, you will have no enemies, and you not be harmed. 

Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself to be carried, even with a slight tendency, towards the attainment of lesser things. Instead, you must entirely quit some things and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would both have these great things, along with power and riches, then you will not gain even the latter, because you aim at the former too: but you will absolutely fail of the former, by which alone happiness and freedom are achieved. 

Work, therefore to be able to say to every harsh appearance, "You are but an appearance, and not absolutely the thing you appear to be." And then examine it by those rules which you have, and first, and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are in our own control, or those which are not; and, if it concerns anything not in our control, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you. (Epictetus, The Enchiridion 1)

I certainly can't change the past. I can't even change the present...only my attitude and perception. When bad things happen, I just have to trust God, who will make all wrongs right.

Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." (Rom 12:19 ESV).

Justice will be dealt. Perhaps not as quickly as you want it, but it will come. My Dad wasn't murdered like Suzie Salmon, but Jesus will avenge him by destroying death itself (1 Cor 15:26). That gives me peace.

The Lovely Bones was pretty morbid, but the message was real. Bad things happen but you have to let them go and move on. Though He may not have been in the minds of the author or director, God must be trusted to make things right. He is the One who is able. He is the One who is just.

It's alive....IT'S ALIVE!!!!

I'm proud to announce that Clyde, my beloved 1100cc motorized horse, has awakened from his winter slumber. He is typically very difficult to wake up (as most old men are), but after the wind and wet ground caused him to fall onto his side yesterday, he cranked right up (after I picked him up and rolled him into the carport).

You may be thinking, "Wow...Clyde is the coolest name in the world for a motorcycle!" Well, thank you! I endowed this beast with said moniker quite easily because for a very long time I have considered Clyde to be the most masculine name in the English language. It reeks of testosterone. It makes me think of biceps, tattoos, body hair, and B.O.--the four elements of manliness (maybe not B.O.).

Clyde is a 1987 Honda Shadow 1100 that I obtained through a sweet deal with my uncle. Having seen better days, Clyde is not in the best shape. Here are a few battle scars this warrior has obtained:

• No third gear (which makes cruising through a busy town tricky)
• Speedometer does not work (I think I'm getting good at reading the RPM, though)
• No right battery cover (as the picture indicates)
• Right front blinker is connected by electrical tape.
• Choke gave up the ghost last fall.
• Unknown mileage (see the second item in the list)

Other than that, it's in good shape!

There is something liberating about riding a motorcycle on a sunny day. You feel free to take in the surroundings, marveling at God's wonderful Creation, but at the same time you feel wild and powerful. I think that is how God meant for men to be. Wild and free...but in love with Him.

Listen to some of the first recorded words of God to man in the beginning:

And God blessed them. And God said to them, 'Be fruitful, and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.' (Gen. 1:28 ESV, emphasis mine)

Did you hear that?! "Here Adam...take this entire world and subdue it. I put it under your dominion." God didn't say, "Now Adam, you be a good little boy. Mind your manners. Don't get your clothes dirty when you go out to play. And please keep your voice down...you're not an animal, you know. Oh, and don't wander too far away...you might get hurt." NO! God said, Take this creation and subdue it. He didn't emasculate Adam and make him think and act like a woman (he would later give him an awesome gift that sparked a poetic outburst in Adam, a gift that he would love more than his own body, but that's a different story).


I wonder what Adam thought. "Do what? How do I subdue it? Where do I start? What should I do? Do I have what it takes? I can't do this." I don't know what he thought, really. But if I were in Adam's shoes, those are questions I would have asked, sadly.

I like to think that Adam didn't have those insecurities. After all, he had a Father who walked with him and, no doubt, taught him everything he needed to know about being a man. He had a Father who went on adventures with him, bonding with him. God created Adam for adventure.

"But motorcycles are dangerous." True...but men need to be a little dangerous sometimes. I saw a lion in a zoo a couple of years ago and it was one of the saddest sights. Here was the "king of the jungle" being gawked at by creatures he would normally have for supper. He was meant to be in the wild, free from bondage, but he was trapped...captured. Sure, he has some grass, a tree, and big rock for naps, but he just seemed boring. When you put a lion in a cage, it loses something.

The same thing can happen to a man. When you put a man in a cubicle or on a pew or anywhere and tell him his job is just to be nice, he loses something. Morality, kindness, gentleness, are all virtuous and quite important, but why not do those things and walk with God. Jesus is the Lamb of God and the Lion of Judah. 

I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. (John 10:10, ESV)

Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. (1 Cor. 16:13, ESV)